American Foundation for Equal Rights

Marriage News Blog

It’s About Family: Tammy and Wendy’s Love Story

Wendy Mayfield and Tammy Quaco of San Diego are thankful for a lot of things – namely, their family. With Tammy bringing two kids to the relationship, and Wendy bringing three, they worried that the new siblings would have a hard time blending.

It turns out that their worries were not necessary! In fact, their oldest daughters are best friends! “One time, Ashley said that she felt very lucky to have Wendy as a stepmom because she had Jennifer as a daughter. She said she couldn’t imagine having a better stepmother,” says Tammy.

The family is closer than Wendy and Tammy could have ever imagined. “We are a family, plain and simple,” adds Wendy.

Through the Hard Times

Although both Wendy and Tammy grew up in San Diego, they didn’t meet until about eight years ago. Since then, they both have had to deal with hardships faced by many couples in during the recent economic downturn, namely unemployment.

For most of her life, Wendy worked in retail management. However, she was laid off when the economy went south. She is now a paralegal. Tammy used to work in the casino industry and was laid off as well. She is now working in medical administration.

“The way the economy goes – when it’s slow, it’s slow. And we got laid off within a week of each other. It was really hard,” recalls Wendy. “We were planning to get married. We had a place set and ready to go but decided to postpone for the moment. Otherwise we would have used up all our savings,” continues Tammy.

The couple relied on each other and their family to get through those tough times.

An Unfair Adjustment

“I was really naïve when I came out,” says Tammy. “I didn’t even realize that one day I could lose the rights I had with my husband the day before.”

“Marriage would really help solidify our family,” says Wendy. “Just to be recognized [by the government] would be really nice.”

For now, they are still living with the constant need to explain and justify their beautiful family, and waiting on the day that they can be married.